The Way Things Work | Tomorrow

 Tomorrow, in spite of all that is holy, the manifestation of today, regardless of whether we know it or not, is spawned from our weary minds. Thrust into the ether, caught by the down draft or a jet stream, a cold front or other meteorological phenomenon, the thoughts are given shape, like rain drops, vacuum sealed into the clouds. When the worries, concerns, hopes, fears, anecdotes, and wishes get too heavy, they burst the hermetically sealed cloud of mental murmurings to cascade upon us in the form of tomorrow, today. Isn't there a moment of solitude? A moment when the mind frees itself of the undying churning, the revolution of the cosmic washing machine, pauses itself and gives way to pure silence; snow blanketed fields untouched. 

Seldom do these moments materialize. Because the materialization, in and of itself is the deafening vacuum that is space. So silent it bursts ear drums and cracks window panes. In the fissures are trapped our screams and yells, sealed into a molten caste of subatomic particles that evaporate over time like the specks of sand they were spawned from. A more perfect cyclical event never occurred. Many other semi-perfect or semi-precious events have been played out like the wobbling of a projector's tilt-a-whirl revolutions, tumbled by sprockets and gears, motors and engines, combustible objects that fritter and quake before erupting in a gasp of primordial stew.  

But these imperfect renderings are the lowly day of those stuck in the rote and mindless game of spiraling towards the great and vast middle. Outside of us, if we were to really see it, really envision it, really conceptualize it, really smolder in it, really believe it, really embody it...outside of us, there is a greater us, a mimicked flicker of glass shards that combined form a crystal, smokey at it's core, but wholly natural and reoccurring over time upon itself. When the rains of time splinter it's tiny micro-cracks, and invade the precious space that is void; when the sun is just right, beaming out of the clouds, around the clouds, hazing the sky with a barely perceptible rainbow cascade...it is here, when the tomorrow's and the today's are born together like some insignificant cross road that is made more significant by the second. When the crystalized moment becomes dawn and we realize that nothing is perfect and all is right with the world. Tomorrow becomes today. 

Quiet for the Morning
mgolia6@gmail.com

It’s quiet these days, awaiting the other shoe’s blues to ring true

Me, I sing em too, but softly, like a voice subdued

Im glued to the notion that the ripple from the fall will undo

The cause and effect, defects, infecting the decisions I always choose

But you see right through, a cascade of bruises that are there but don’t show

You know how to strike, like a flint skips to lighter fluid, ignites with a hollow glow

Feel it deep below my skin, beginning to spread, like flame to fuel, and I know

That this quiet is pervasive, contagious, elegiac and abrasive, like rust on the soul

I bring nothing to the morning, it’s sun shining brighter in some inside joke

The latch on this door, cracked frame, holds nothing in or out, even if its not broke

Watch the intense point of the suns rays trigger kindling to simmer and smoke

And through these doors, unhinged, I chew heavy on words so as not to choke

Recollection

I remember the steady flow
rabble rouser battling from head to toe
saying set me free but dont let me go
hoping the break is clean as the ax is thrown
I spark like flint when the pressures on
a diamond in the rough, yeah those heads'll nod
they know i dont shimmer but im worth bettin on
so lay your money down, watch me ramble on
a snake in the bush dont have much to say
just lie in wait so patiently for his prey
hoping a wayward soul will simply lose his way
cause when it does man there is no need to pray
knelt in the pew, in an empty church
my back is bent like a winter birch
frozen cold components that i need to nurse
but sheltered in the warmth, man it could be worse
i could be somewhere lying in a shallow grave
so criminal that even the lord won't save
the western wind whips striking me like a wave
trying to stand, you watch as my body cave
the crest of the ridge asks the sun what are you hiding from
but soon those shafts of light beaming from the rising sun
splinter the sky, belie it's hidden nature as it climbs each wrung
and soon the ridge disappears in its shadow look what its become
I remember my steady flow
calm as the morning before the wind would blow
saying don't tell me but begging that you need to know
knowing the seed is sewn and hoping that it'll grow

No Regrets

It’s start with a spark, the flint 

just to get the fire lit, it’s dark 

Thinking this is it, gotta make your mark

Til the morning hits, let it be legit

Let it rush in fast, let me get a grip

Knowing that spirit, brought to the limit

I’ve tried, I’ve realized, that the more I try

The more that it flies, the more that i realize

That this time is a prize, a shimmer in my eyes

A glimmer that I prize, simmering inside

Marking my demise 

sparkle in my eyes

Now I’m sheltered from the skies 

And no matter how I try

I can’t shake the feeling 

And I won’t compromise

Listen, please listen. 

Cause there’s something I gotta say

I’m staring out the window 

On this cold and rainy day

I’m looking at clouds

And the silver linings gray

It’s been a minute since I got lifted 

And sifted through my own messes 

My guess is that while I’ll miss em 

I probably won’t regret em

Nah nah

It’s been years and their all a blur to me

Now something had just occurred to me

I feel it with all this certainty

But it’s gone before I turn and see

The safety that’s waiting in the wings

Waiting for that bell to ring

My guess is that I’ll never know

The calmness that the morning brings. 

A simple smile and I’m on my knees

It seems like an act of revelry

The crimson rushing as I bleed

Nourishes the bursting seed

  

Mgolia6@gmail.com

I remember being born not at birth but at thirteen

No womb but consumed by things that were other worldly

There was consumption and addictions and abductions man I wanna scream

Some kid got lit up in a bed and his father was an accessory  

I saw it on the tv, it was so sleazy, believe me I was thirteen years old and I was scared so easy

I didn’t sleep for three nights and for ten years my dreams would freak me

I couldn’t make out the difference between reality and my dreaming

The room got big and I got small the walls so tall I started screaming 

Next thing you know I was talking 

and sleep waking

Stalking my own demons 

in a somnambulist cauldron 

and I couldn’t get off it, 

it was like a faucet 

kept dripping and my lips slipping 

I was choked up and coughing 

and this happened so often 

but I could tell no one it was awful 

and I was caught in this nightmare 

I was aware 

That I wanted no one to get lost in

It took years to get even 

to prevent seasons 

from breathing down my neck 

and find something to believe in, 

I don’t know when I got to breathing 

but when I did it was like a chore 

but these days I could seize em, 

I could get mean then 

count to ten pretend 

I was no longer a demon 

I could say I was a man 

and feel like I was not committing treason 

say I know for what I stand but not be a cretin deleting the emotion 

that got sucked up like a potion 

like a notion that not knowing 

was the best form of devotion 

and release this heathen 

and cast the light wide 

and invoke the comfort of a beacon 

in my minds eye 

By the time they call you a man 

you may not know what that means, 

dripping like candle wax 

your dollars disappearing at the casino 

but your acting out a different scene 

you thought you knew what the intention was 

and thought your slate was clean 

but then you had to much vino 

and the keynote of your speakers was blown out viciously. 

Admittedly I could get violent 

and you might pity me 

and then I get silent 

and you might literally 

cut out my heart and repeat 

as the dearly departed 

cast out into the sea. 

You succumb to the plumb notion 

that this devotion 

flowed steadily like the ocean 

back to shore 

and more likely you implore 

the night skies to circle back for more 

but are you kidding me. 

I was young once 

and I was stunned 

in the far flung notion 

that there was innocence 

I saw the bleak 

break out of the creek 

and delete all the vicious sins  

that went down river in crimson 

delivered to all the citizens 

like water contaminated 

i was perplexed 

but also oblivious 

critical yes that is a criminal mess 

I hope you get the gist 

I hope you aim but miss 

I hope you made a list 

I hope you unfolded 

behold the coldness of this sitch 

don’t wind up in a ditch 

you find a little bliss 

You get a simple kiss 

and be a catalyst 

and know what the matter is 

and be an actor in that blockbuster 

but that sounds so flattering 

the fact of the matter 

is you are so talented. 

My thoughts are scattering 

and now I’m battling 

and I climbed the ladder 

and I found Elysium 

We carry the torch high for this one

I’m not gonna lie I’m wishing 

We could have a taste of our own medicine

Set your scopes take your mark got your target

Got em in your sights now your set but you park it

You just Unlock the lock and decide to let em in 

My thoughts like the nights stars are scattered and and hard to make out

But the voice in my head, incessant decides it is gonna shout

I’d love some peace and quiet but that’s just a nice sentiment

I’m battered and bruised 

You decide to cut loose

Say you got nothing to gain

I know i got nothing to lose

So throw the switch light fuse

It’s you bed to make so you must choose

And like a head fake it’s just a ruse

You haven’t got all night

And me I haven’t a clue 

I’m unsure whether this is a dream or reality

Cause outside the window pain it’s raining like pathetic fallacy

If your not gonna turn that shit down well then allow me

I stand up pull that fucker out the wall, throw a bottle through the screen and stand there proudly

Like this is my mess I confess it could of been handled a different way

But the past is the past ain’t no turning back unless your in some movie

Though this could be a dream, I tried to speak the moment washed right through me

Another voice shouted out you owe me a television I said who me

I’ve been lying low cause laying is so jaded though the song is playing way to slow I like to think that’s all I know and praying for the radio to take me home and put me down an offer on some pedestal subliminal so easy must be criminal, the captions act like a pistol they blow my mind a metronome I’m petrified and letting go so simplify decisions though and remember to just let me go    

This is it, this is me saying good bye

I watch these memories 

like moments passing by

So sudden but fuckem 

you can’t take em when you die

So I erase em replace em 

With all these tears that I cry

I’m erupting, assumptions, presumptive

This loving corrupted was something

Now nothing, and whether your bumming

I wonder what happens but frozen

In moments I’m slumming and yet I know why

So I pretend and I render the moment

Surrender I try to define what I felt but I’m rendered

And when I am done I succumb and I wonder

This blunder could leave me 

with all these tears that I cry

I’m not certain but know that i must say goodbye

This blueprint is soothing but soon it’s confusing

I’m losing my grip and I take a deep sigh

The crimson and brimstone and rhythm 

It’s home grown and I’m thinking like ozone and broken like your phone and soaking in the sun with the clouds passing by