Aloha Friday Motivation | Fuji Edition| #21

Mgolia6@gmail.com

I remember being born not at birth but at thirteen

No womb but consumed by things that were other worldly

There was consumption and addictions and abductions man I wanna scream

Some kid got lit up in a bed and his father was an accessory  

I saw it on the tv, it was so sleazy, believe me I was thirteen years old and I was scared so easy

I didn’t sleep for three nights and for ten years my dreams would freak me

I couldn’t make out the difference between reality and my dreaming

The room got big and I got small the walls so tall I started screaming 

Next thing you know I was talking 

and sleep waking

Stalking my own demons 

in a somnambulist cauldron 

and I couldn’t get off it, 

it was like a faucet 

kept dripping and my lips slipping 

I was choked up and coughing 

and this happened so often 

but I could tell no one it was awful 

and I was caught in this nightmare 

I was aware 

That I wanted no one to get lost in

It took years to get even 

to prevent seasons 

from breathing down my neck 

and find something to believe in, 

I don’t know when I got to breathing 

but when I did it was like a chore 

but these days I could seize em, 

I could get mean then 

count to ten pretend 

I was no longer a demon 

I could say I was a man 

and feel like I was not committing treason 

say I know for what I stand but not be a cretin deleting the emotion 

that got sucked up like a potion 

like a notion that not knowing 

was the best form of devotion 

and release this heathen 

and cast the light wide 

and invoke the comfort of a beacon 

in my minds eye 

By the time they call you a man 

you may not know what that means, 

dripping like candle wax 

your dollars disappearing at the casino 

but your acting out a different scene 

you thought you knew what the intention was 

and thought your slate was clean 

but then you had to much vino 

and the keynote of your speakers was blown out viciously. 

Admittedly I could get violent 

and you might pity me 

and then I get silent 

and you might literally 

cut out my heart and repeat 

as the dearly departed 

cast out into the sea. 

You succumb to the plumb notion 

that this devotion 

flowed steadily like the ocean 

back to shore 

and more likely you implore 

the night skies to circle back for more 

but are you kidding me. 

I was young once 

and I was stunned 

in the far flung notion 

that there was innocence 

I saw the bleak 

break out of the creek 

and delete all the vicious sins  

that went down river in crimson 

delivered to all the citizens 

like water contaminated 

i was perplexed 

but also oblivious 

critical yes that is a criminal mess 

I hope you get the gist 

I hope you aim but miss 

I hope you made a list 

I hope you unfolded 

behold the coldness of this sitch 

don’t wind up in a ditch 

you find a little bliss 

You get a simple kiss 

and be a catalyst 

and know what the matter is 

and be an actor in that blockbuster 

but that sounds so flattering 

the fact of the matter 

is you are so talented. 

My thoughts are scattering 

and now I’m battling 

and I climbed the ladder 

and I found Elysium